Wait, What?
by Authoress Liz
Summary: When Erzebet's grandmother passed away, Erzebet inhereted her house...and four "Hetalia Units" to keep her company? Wait, what! Based on LolliDictator's Manual series. Rating may change. Spamano, PruCan.
1. So, I Got This Big Package

**A/N: Hi there, peoples! I have decided to leap upon the bandwagon and start up my own brand of Manual-based fanfic :3 Be ready for some insanity!**

**And, first things first: Hetalia belongs to Himayura-sama, not me. And the Hetalia Manuals belong to LolliDictator, also not to me.**

**Enjoy~**

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><p>The house was emptied of inhabitants, but still tried to cling to its former life. The walls had dark patches where pictures had once hung, and the carpet had small indentations where it had been compressed by furniture. I took a deep breath.<p>

The air still faintly smelled of fresh bread and soft lavender. And that was enough to send me over the precipitous edge of sadness. I missed my grandmother terribly, even though she had passed away less than a week ago. It was almost hard to believe that the elegant woman had in actuality been so frail.

I also couldn't believe what she had bequeathed to me in her will. It was read after her funeral, and her words still rung clearly in my mind.

"To my only grandchild, Erzebet Hawthorne, I leave my home at 42 Maple Avenue. I also leave to her a set of Hetalia Units, so that she may have company and comfort in my passing."

...what in the world was a "Hetalia Unit"? I admit, I had gone through a phase in my sophomore year of high school where I was obsessed with an anime called Hetalia, but I had never heard of these things.

I decided to wander about the house, checking to see what had been given away and what had been left behind. To my surprise, most of the basic home accessories were still where they always were. The two guest rooms still had two twin beds each, both freshly made up, and the king-sized bed in the master bedroom looked like it hadn't been touched in a week. Towels still sat folded in the bathroom closet and there were clean dishes in the kitchen cabinets. The only things missing were the family heirlooms from the mantelpiece, but I knew that those had been given to other members of my family for safe keeping.

And then, a loud knock came at the door. I discarded my purse and jacket at the foot of the stairs and answered it, seeing a delivery man with a human-sized box waiting on the doorstep.

"I've got a delivery here for an Erzebet Hawthorne, are you her?" he asked me, voice straining. Whatever was in the box must have been quite heavy.

"Yes, I am. What is this box? I haven't ordered anything." I responded, confused about what was going on.

"The order was placed by a Mrs. Adelaide Hawthorne, if you know her."

Suddenly, it clicked. This must be one of those Unit things that my grandmother had ordered! "Oh, I know what's going on now. Yes, I'll sign." I wrote my name on his electronic clipboard thingy, he wheeled the box into the front hallway, handed me a thick booklet, and was off. As he walked away, I noticed a patch on his shirt. " 'Flying Mint Bunny Express'? What the blazes is that?"

And then I looked down at the title of the packet: _"ANTONIO __FERNANDEZ-CARRIEDO __User __Guide __and __Manual"._

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><p><strong>AN (again): So, yay! Here's my first chapter.**

**And no, Erze is _not __Hungary._ Sorry to anybody who got confused due to the similarity in names.**

**Anyways, what do you think? Leave a review, pretty please. Your feedback will help me decide if I want to keep uploading new chapters. Thank you~**


	2. Spain In A Box

**ACK, THIS IS SOOOO LATE...I'm sorry guys. I'm in a musical right now (it goes up tonight!) and that has literally been eating up all my time. I haven't gotten a single thing done all month, and have been at school until 10 every night for the past two weeks...I'm running merely on caffeine. And then when I'm not at school I'm hanging out with my boyfriend...**

**Quick math: theatre + boyfriend + schoolwork = no time for updating. I'm such a bad person XD**

**Now, this chapter is going to involve some different languages. Everything that is not in English will be italicized, and translations will follow it, bolded and in brackets.**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia belongs to Himayura-sama, not me. The Hetalia Manuals series belongs to LolliDictator, also not to me.**

**Read away! :D**

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><p>Chapter Two: Spain-In-a-Box<p>

_"CONGRATULATIONS! __You've __just __invested __in __an __ANTONIO __FERNANDEZ-CARRIEDO __unit!__In __order __to __ensure __that __you, __the __owner, __get __the __best __of __your __unit __while __keeping __all __your __extremities, __we've __taken __the __liberties __of __writing __this __manual, __and __strongly __suggest __that __you __read __it __before __attempting __to __handle __your __unit."_ I read aloud, wondering what in the world was in this box. According to the manual, it was some sort of...android, or something!

My mind quickly ran wild. What if it was evil and turned against me, like the Cylons of Battlestar Galactica? Those things terrified me, and every time one appeared on my television screen, I'd shout "Cylons GTFO!" as a joke, even though I knew they were only images and shouting did nothing. It just made me feel much better about the situation.

I looked back at the box, skipped over the information about the "unit's" personality, and read the section on removing it from packaging. It told me to either cook Spanish/Mexican food, get another unit to wake it up, or to activate a mini-unit and promptly drop-kick it out a window. Since I had no means of doing either of those three things (and the only drop-kicking I liked were the Dropkick Murphys), I took a wild guess and tried speaking to the box in Spanish.

_"Hola...Señor __Carriedo, __¿ese __correcto? __Despierta, __por __favor."_ **[Hello...Mister ****Carriedo? ****Is ****that ****correct? ****Wake ****up, ****please.]** I said, hoping that my years of Spanish lessons had not failed me. But I still felt like an idiot, talking to a giant box.

And the box promptly jiggled, as if someone were moving inside it. A faint _"¡Hola! __¿Como __esta?"_ **[Hello! ****How ****are ****you?]** came from it, in a lovely, warm voice that sent a slight redness to my cheeks.

_"Ah...¿señor Carriedo?"_ **[Ah...mister Carriedo?]**

_"¡Fernandez-Carriedo! __¡Si! __¡Un __momento, __por __favor!"_ **[Fernandez-Carriedo! ****Yes! ****One ****moment, ****please!]** A loud clatter came from inside, and a side of the box fell off, revealing a man inside. He had gorgeously tanned skin and a mop of dark, curly hair. He blinked up at me, revealing a pair of dark emerald eyes ringed by thick, dark lashes. He jumped out of his box and examined me closely_.__"¡Mi __dueño __esta __una __chica __bonita! __Me __llamo __es __Antonio __Fernandez-Carriedo. __Mucho __gusto. __¿Quien __usted, __señorita?"_ **[My ****landlady ****is ****a ****pretty ****girl! ****My ****name ****is ****Antonio ****Fernandez-Carriedo. ****It's ****nice ****to ****meet ****you. ****Who ****are ****you, ****miss?]** He grabbed my hand and kissed it.

I sputtered for a moment, heat rapidly rising to my fair face, then answered, _"Me __llamo __Erzebet __Hawthorne, __señor __Fernandez-Carriedo. __Igualmente. __¿Se __habla __inglès?"_ **[My ****name ****is ****Erzebet ****Hawthorne, ****mister ****Fernandez-Carriedo. ****Likewise. ****Do ****you ****speak ****English?]** I begged that he spoke English. My Spanish vocabulary was quickly being run down. (And the heat my face was producing was starting to make condensation collect on my glasses!)

_"Si, __si_, **[Yes, ****yes]** I speak English. And I am so happy to meet you! Do you have any tomatoes?"

"Tomatoes? Uh...no, I don't. I just moved here, you see. I don't have anything with me."

"That's okay! A new house should be filled with new lives. Can we go get some tomatoes?" He bounced up and down, examining the front hallway.

"Okay, that's, uh, no problem. I'll get my keys and my jacket—it's really cold out there—and we can get going." I put my olive green trench coat back on and seized my tan leather bag. I fished out my car keys, and we were off.

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><p>Antonio got a goofy smile when he saw my car, a black Fiat 500 with silver and red trim. "Your car is very cute, <em>señorita <em>_dueño!"_

"Thank you, señor Fernandez-Carriedo. This car is practically my baby. I worked so hard to get it. Its top speed is 113 mph, it has 99 brake horsepower, and it goes from zero to sixty in 10.5 seconds. I adore this little car. It's practically a Lamborghini in a body the size of a shoe!" I babbled a little bit more about the car. Antonio just smiled and listened to my gearhead talk. "By the way, what does _dueño_ mean?" I smiled too, unlocking the car via key fob.

_"Dueño_ means master, _señorita!"_ He chirped, running around to the passenger seat. My face became immediately red. I couldn't believe that he thought of me as his master! I couldn't handle that. I couldn't bear to order people around like their boss.

"Hey, would it be okay if you just called me Erzebet from now on? Dueño seems way too formal for me." And it is giving my mind funny ideas...

"Okay! You can call me Antonio~! And from now on, I'm going to call you Erze!" He beamed. Erze? Well, I guess it was better than master... "Come on, Erze! To the tomatoes!" He jumped into the passenger seat, only to immediately jump back out. "There's something on my seat!" He exclaimed.

"Paco! You almost sat on Paco!" I rushed around and retrieved a small travel fish tank. Inside was a disgruntled goldfish, obviously miffed about almost being sat on by a giant butt. (Although, I couldn't argue the fact that it was a very nice butt—what the heck, self? Snap out of it)

Antonio peered into the clear box. "Awww! _¡Su __pez __es __tan __lindo!"_ **[Your ****fish ****is ****so ****cute!]** He cooed, eyes squinting up. His broad smile caused his cheeks to light up. "His name is Paco, _¿si?_ _¡Hola __Paco!__Tu __eres __tan __lindo, __si __si~__"_ **[Hello ****Paco! ****You're ****so ****cute, ****yes ****yes~]**

I giggled at his antics, but it was time for Paco to go inside before he got too cold. I quickly went back into the house, put his travel tank on the dining room table, and came back to the car. "To the tomatoes!"

_"¡Vamos!" _**[Let****'****s ****go!]**

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><p><strong>AN (Again): So, that's chapter two. How was it? I'm glad I somehow managed to work in one of my own jokes about Cylons.**

**How was my Spanish? I translated it all from my own head, so if anything is wrong please let me know. I'm sorry for any language murdering! ORZ**


	3. Grocery Store Antics

**A/N: Here we go, chapter three! :D Hooray for randomness.**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia belongs to Himayura-sama, not me. The Hetalia Manuals series belongs to Lollidictator, also not me.**

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><p>Chapter Three: Grocery Store Antics<p>

The moment we got to the grocery store, Antonio immediately jumped into a shopping cart and stood up in a scouting-ahead fashion_.__"Vamos_, **[Let****'****s ****go]** Erze! Tomatoes off the port bow!"

"Antonio, get down!" I hissed at him, unsure of how to deal with the hyperactive man practically jumping up and down in a shopping cart. "Please, Antonio, you're causing a scene..."

"What is life without a bit of fun and some tomatoes? Come on, _¡Vamos!"_

"Only if you get out of the cart first! People are staring at us." I pointed harshly at the floor, commanding him to step down. Begrudgingly, he did, and I quickly pushed the cart over to the bin of tomatoes with my head down. All of this commotion had caused me to blush deeply in humiliation.

"Aah~ _Señorita_ Erze, you look like a tomato~!" Antonio laughed and dumped nearly half of the bin into the cart. I couldn't afford all those! I'm a mostly-broke college student. The fact that I could actually afford to buy proper groceries said something about me.

"Antonio, I can't afford all of those! Please put them back. We still have to get the essentials, like bread and milk. We might be having a snowstorm sometime in the near future, did you know?"

He pouted and started unloading the tomatoes. "It's just a little bit of snow; it's not that bad..."

I clamped a hand on his shoulder. "You're from Spain, _¿Si?_ Very sunny, really lovely?" He nodded slowly. "Well, we're not in Spain. We're in New England. When we get snow, we get buried for several days. Have you ever been trapped in the freezing cold for days on end, with no power, no food, and no warmth?" He shook his head rapidly. "No? Well then, please get serious so that we don't have to experience that!"

With a slight whine, Antonio put back all the tomatoes, saving one. He then followed me around the store like a dejected puppy as I picked out the food that we would need for that week. Feeding two people now put a strain upon my budget, so I'd have to see if the manual had anything about jobs that Antonio could get. He needed to pull his own weight lest I throw him out.

Once we were on our way home, Antonio started to cheer up, as if my little scolding had never happened. He started quizzing me about my college courses, where I worked, and why I suddenly moved into that new house. I told him that I was studying marine biology, that I worked part-time at the local aquarium, and that the house had been left to be by my grandmother. I found that talking about myself really helped me feel more comfortable around Antonio. He really started to seem more human, as opposed to android or country or whatever the heck he was.

And meanwhile, as I was considering these things, Antonio was babbling away about the bunch of tomatoes he was cradling in his arms. _"Los __tomatitos~"_ He squealed _"Tan __lindo~ __Tan __bonito~"_ **[Little ****tomatoes~ ****So ****cute~ ****So ****pretty~]**

I decided not to interrupt him.


	4. Here We Go Again

**A/N: Here we are, chapter four! We'll be seeing a new character this time. Who is he? Just read and see~!**

**I got a bunny, yay! :D His name is Albert, but I keep accidentally calling him Alfred. It especially doesn't help that my street has "Alfred" in it's name. **

**But, confusing name or not, Bert is the _cutest_ little rabbit ever! He's a dwarf bunny, so he's teeny tiny and awesome to cuddle with. ...Although he's constantly trying to worm his way under the couch and tv cabinet, where there are a lot of electrical wires, which he likes to chew on. And I don't want to have an electrocuted bunny. He's white, with dark ears and splotches on his face. He's so fluffy that if you poke him, you leave a dent in his fur. He's _soooooo cute. _I can't stop repeating how cute he is. D'AAAAAAWWWWWWWWWW.**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia belongs to Himayura-sensei, not me. Also, the Hetalia Manuals series belongs to LolliDictator, also not me.**

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><p>Chapter Four: Here We Go Again<p>

When Antonio and I got back to the house, I was in a much better mood due to his adorable babble involving tomatoes. He said that he would cook dinner for me, as a sign of gratitude for housing him. I thanked him very much for that, because I had very little skill when it came to proper cooking. The best that I could do was a cake.

And so, I got to relax for that evening. Because of the impending storm and my moving, I had gotten the next day off from work. I planned to use that day for unpacking my things (which would be arriving then) and setting up some ground rules for living with Antonio.

But, when we arrived back home, a different delivery man was waiting, with another human-sized box. His shirt had the Flying Mint Bunny Express logo on it, so I knew immediately that this was another Unit.

I parked the car and got out, walking over to the delivery man with a loud "Hello!"

He looked at me, then at his clipboard, and then back at me. "You Erzebet Hawthorne?" He asked with a strong, nasally accent.

"Yep, that's me! What's this box?" I peeked at the clipboard, trying to see what kind of thing was in it.

"One o' them Hetalia Units. Be careful with this one, lotsa people have been shippin' it back. Apparently it's a handful."

"I'm sure that I can handle whatever's in there." I signed on the dotted line, opened the front door so that the box could be moved inside, and then waved at the delivery man as he left.

Another thick manual was attached to the front of the box. Apparently, this Unit was Italian, and was named Lovino Vargas.

"Lovi~! My cute little Lovi is in that box!" Antonio squealed, reading over my shoulder. He started knocking on the box. "Lovi~ It's time to wake up, Lovi~!"

The box jerked backwards, an audible shriek coming from inside. "You tomato bastard! What the hell are you doing? Get me out of here!"

"Uh, maybe I should let him out of the box..." I lifted off the lid of the box, and an olive-skinned man jumped out. I retreated out of instinct, assuming a defensive pose. There was a large umbrella sitting folded in a basket before the door, so I snatched it and held it before me like a fencing blade.

But, to my surprise, the man didn't leap at me. He instead tried to head butt Antonio, yelling profanities in English, Spanish, and Italian. Antonio only laughed.

"Lovi~ You're so cute, Lovi~!" He tried to hug the furious Italian, only to get a sharp smack upside the head.

_"Che __palle!_ **[What ****nerve!]** You idiot! Where the hell have you dragged me off to, you bastard?"

"Lovi, this is where we live now!"

_"CHE __DIAVILO?"_ **[WHAT ****THE ****HELL?]**

"Si~! This pretty señorta here is Erze, and she's our dueño!" Antonio smiled widely.

In an instant, the Italian's whole attitude had switched. _"Ciao, __bella __signorina._ **[Hello, ****pretty ****lady].** My name is Lovino Vargas, and I must say that meeting you is _meraviglioso~"_ **[Wonderful].** Like Antonio had, he grabbed my hand and kissed it.

"It is very nice to meet you as well, Mister Vargas. My name is Erzebet Hawthorne, and this is my house." I was caught off-guard once again, surprised that I was even able to form articulate sentences.

The moment Lovino let go of my hand, he was immediately hug-tackled by Antonio, who praised Lovino on having a charming side. Lovino then lost his charming demeanor, shrieked in a high voice, and punched Antonio in the face.

"Hey!" I pried them apart and stood between them. "Both of you, stop that!"

"Keep that bastard away from me!" Lovino wailed. "He keeps trying to cuddle me! Stupid, clingy bastard!"

"But Lovi is so cute~ I just can't keep my hands off him!" Antonio pouted.

I sighed, feeling like a kindergarten teacher with two rowdy students. "Look, if we're all going to live here, we need to set some ground rules. Okay?"

"Okay..."

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><p><strong>AN (again): Yay, Lovi~! Hopefully I've managed to write him in character. I always have trouble writing people who act really angry. They always turn into big ole mushballs.**

**Anyhoo ._. Please review.**


	5. The Death of Me

**A/N: Ohohoho…I feel evil today. My bunny is a plot bunny. I just started writing my first original story in the longest time. Yay me.**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia belongs to Himayura-sama, not me. Also, the Hetalia Manuals series belongs to LolliDictator, also not me.**

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><p>Chapter Five: These Guys Are Killing Me<p>

In ten minutes, I had written up a set of ground rules.

_1. No touching anyone without his or her consent. This includes hugs, violence, etc._

_- If this rule is violated by Antonio hugging Lovino, than Lovino is to ask him kindly to step away. Use words, not fists. If you start punching, then I get to punch you, and that's not pleasant._

_2. Only I am allowed to use the car. Both Antonio and Lovino will have to get their own._

_-Touch the car, and you **die.**And that word is underlined, italicized, and bolded for a very good reason._

_3. All tenants will need a source of income. I am a college student and need all the money I can get. No job means back in the big box._

_4. No alcohol in the house. Nobody needs that._

_5. Paco is fed once a day, and eats fish food only. Nothing else._

_6. Every time Lovino swears, he will be required to donate one dollar to the Emergency Tomato Fund, because according to your manuals, you guys eat waaay too many tomatoes._

_7. Keep your own stuff in your own room. I am not your maid, nor am I your mom. And I shall not clean for you._

Satisfied with my list, I herded the Units into the living room and read it off. And, as I expected, both men started picking out its flaws.

"What the hell do you mean, I have to pay a dollar every time I swear? I'm broke, woman!" Lovino complained.

"Too bad, buddy. Pay up!" I ordered, putting out my hand. Years of acting as a moderator for friends' arguments had made me a bit of a hardass. Maybe I should go into law enforcement...

"Don't worry, Lovi~" Antonio said, reaching into _my_ wallet, pulling out a dollar, and giving it to me. "There~!"

"No, Antonio. He pays with his own money, not with mine." I took my wallet back and put the dollar away.

"And how come you're the only one who gets to drive, Erze? Your car is so cute~!"

"Because that car is my freaking baby. I worked for years to get it, and I'm not going to let anybody touch it." I snapped. He recoiled slightly, but then laughed at me.

Lovino, however, completely agreed. "You see? She's got a feisty Italian who doesn't want big, pervy Spanish hands pawing at it!"

"Lovi~~ You're so cruel, Lovi~!" Antonio wailed, suddenly standing and hugging me tight. "My Lovi wounds me so!" He pressed his head against my chest.

"GAH! Don't put your face there, Antonio!" I squirmed out of his grasp. "You just broke Rule 1! No unwanted physical contact!"

"But Erze, you've got such a nice chest! It just makes me want to rest my head there~"

"Well, don't! Besides, I'm in a relationship already. So don't push me." I swear, Lovino deflated at that statement. His slick, flirtatious attitude was gone as soon as he heard I was off the market. "Aw, buck up, Lovi. Trust me, with your looks and general Italian-ness you'll have women drooling over you in a heartbeat."

"Yeah, Lovi! Put on a happy face for me, _¿por __favor?" _**[Please?]** Antonio went back and poked Lovino's cheek, the latter immediately puffing up and going red.

"FUCKING SPANISH BASTARD, KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF OF ME!" He screeched, making me draw back from the obnoxious sound. I decided to take drastic measure, so I stepped between the two squabbling Units and shoved them apart.

"That's ENOUGH! Just calm down! My god, I'll have to send one of you back for the sake of my sanity." I scolded them. "Seriously, Antonio. Stop touching Lovino without his permission. And Lovino, watch your language. Please!" I sighed. Looks like I was turning into their mom, no matter what I wanted out of this. "I'm not going to tell you again, unless you both want hell to pay."

Lovino huffed under his breath. "Fine, _mom._"

"Hey, I am NOT your mother! And I never will be. But I am not afraid to lay down the law of this house. You guys will have to bend. And apparently I've still got two more Units on the way!" I snapped at him, tolerance for his bad attitude finally reaching its limits.

"_Qué __bueno_ **[how ****nice],** more people~!" Antonio said happily.

_"¡No, __no __es __bueno!_ **[No, ****that****'****s ****not ****nice!]** Now, I am going to show you your rooms, and you will SLEEP, or _SO __HELP __ME_!" I threatened. I lead them upstairs, assigned them to their rooms, and then went into my own. Once there, I laid down on the bed, put a pillow over my face, and cried.


	6. Turtles

**Yay, it's the longest chapter yet! I got this idea after going to an aquarium myself. I got to hang out with beluga whales. It was awesome. And the Juno you see in this story is an actual whale. Who I've gotten to pet. SOOOOO SQUISHY~~~**

**Disclaimer: Hetalia doesn't belong to me. Don't go all SOPA on my ass, kthxbai. (Also: Juno is an actual whale who lives at the Mystic Aquarium in Conneticut. He's not mine, although I would love him to be.)**

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><p>Chapter Six: Turtles<p>

The next morning, I had to report to work at the aquarium. And, because I didn't trust the Units to not destroy the house in my absence, I decided to bring them with me.

I somehow managed to get them both out of bed at a decent hour, and left them to fend for breakfast by themselves as I got ready for work. My uniform consisted of rubber boots, khakis, and a blue polo shirt with the aquarium's logo embroidered above my name. I tied my blonde hair back, and decided to wear contacts on my blue eyes that day, instead of my typical glasses. Usually I would put my glasses on a special strap to keep them on my head, but today just seemed like one of those days where I couldn't be bothered.

Just before I went downstairs, I stopped and fed Paco, who had been moved to his permanent residence in a proper tank in my room. I suspected he might have been traumatized by Antonio nearly sitting on him, so I made sure to get him all set before anything else happened.

When I got back to the kitchen, I was greeted by the smell of burning toast. Smoke was pouring out of the toaster!

"Hey!" I shouted, dashing over and unplugging it before dumping the scorched ex-food into the sink and dousing it with water. "Guys, it is a _toaster_. Why is this so difficult?" I groaned, rinsing my slightly burned hands.

"Don't look at me!" Lovino answered harshly. "This _idiot_ tried to put tomatoes in the toaster! And he put it all the way on high!"

"What? I wanted to try some crispy tomatoes!" Antonio pouted, staring at the carcass of his breakfast.

"Ugh, we don't have time for this! I don't want to be late. You guys can get breakfast at the aquarium, okay? Now let's go!" I ushered them into the car. Lovino tried to claim shotgun, saying it was his right because this is an Italian car. Instead, he got shoved into the very back because he was the shortest of us. He grumbled and folded his arms.

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><p>As we drove, Antonio decided to mess with the radio. He flipped from station to station, not staying on any for more than a minute.<p>

Eventually, I got so incredibly fed up that I reached over and turned the radio off. "That's enough music for right now." Antonio countered my poking the power button again, and I promptly shut it back off. This process repeated for a few turns until Lovino snapped.

"That's _enough_! Just make up your damn minds!"

Antonio moved to turn it on again, but I slapped his hand away. "Leave it. I want to say something to you two."

"Shoot."

"Aquariums are fun places, and I work there. I'm expecting you to be on your very best behavior, alright? Please don't cause havoc, I'm begging you."

"Don't worry. I'll keep this _idiota_ **[idiot] **under control." Lovino snaked his arm around the seat and poked Antonio hard in the side.

"Thank you." I continued driving in silence, until we arrived at the aquarium. I parked in the employee lot and let the Units out of the car, bringing them in through the staff entrance. I gave them two special passes, so that people would know they were my guests.

Finally, I let go of them. "Okay, guys. I'm going to give you some money for food. And this is for _food only_, got it? Don't get souvenirs with it."

"Si si~" Antonio chirped and bounced off towards the café. Lovino started to follow him, but I held him back.

"Lovino, I'm going to entrust the money to you, okay? I trust that you can handle it. And please, just keep Antonio in line. I don't want to get fired, _capito_?" **[Understand?]**

"Si, I got it." He took the money from my hand and chased after the ditzy Spaniard.

I shook my head, just hoping that I could escape the day with my job intact.

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><p>By the time three o'clock rolled around, things had passed with no incident. I had been standing at my post by a tank full of beluga whales, smiling at their antics and answering questions from the people there. One of the younger whales, a male named Juno, was having fun by swimming up to the glass sides of his enclosure and opening his mouth wide at any little kids standing nearby. They loved it, and I didn't have the heart to tell them how that action, called jaw popping, was an act of aggression and that the trainers were trying to get him to stop.<p>

But suddenly, a voice buzzed over my radio. "Erze, there is a man attempting to enter the sea turtle tank, and he has a pass that was signed out under your name. You're needed here."

I swore under my breath and sprinted into the main building of the aquarium. And there was Antonio, with one leg in the tank, and a furious Lovino clinging to his arm and trying to pull him away. The turtles had all moved to the bottom of the two-story tank, away from the intruder.

"Get out of there, you fucking idiot!" Lovino was screaming, trying to win out over Antonio's wailing about turtles.

"Nooo! I want to see the turtles! I want to swim with the turtles!" Antonio screamed, trying to pull away from Lovino's grip.

"ANTONIO FERNANDEZ-CARREIDO, YOU GET OUT OF THAT TANK THIS MINUTE!" I bellowed, face turning red from anger. I stormed up to him, grabbed the back of his collar, and yanked him away from the tank. People were staring at us, so I pulled Antonio and Lovino through a door into the staff room.

* * *

><p>"I cannot believe you! I trusted that you would be on your best behavior, and then you turn around and betray me! You were acting like an immature, spoiled child. I am so incredibly disappointed with you." I scolded Antonio.<p>

Antonio whined and moved towards the exit, wanting to move back towards the turtles. "Oh no you don't!" I seized his sleeve and shoved him into a chair. "You are going to stay here as I go talk to my boss. If you try to leave, you'll get escorted off the premises." As I turned and started walking out, bringing Lovino with me, I said, "Pray that you haven't gotten me fired."

* * *

><p>When we were back outside, I asked Lovino to tell me what had happened.<p>

"Well, when he saw those turtles, he ran over to the tank and stared at them. And then he started whining about how he wanted to pet them and... He snuck up to the top of the tank and tried to jump in." Lovino explained, shaking his head.

"_Wow._ Does he do that often?" I sighed, leading him towards my boss's office.

"Enough to be a problem."

"I'm not going to be able to bring him back here, am I?"

"Probably not."

I shook my head, hoping that I wouldn't be getting fired because of this incident.

* * *

><p>When we got to the office, I went up to the door and knocked slowly, wincing with every echo.<p>

"Come in." The voice of my boss, Mister Johnson, filtered through the glass door. I told Lovino to stay outside, and stepped into the office.

"Mr. Johnson, I am _so_ sorry about what happened today. I—"

"Enough, Ms. Hawthorne." Mr. Johnson interrupted me. "I see that the man involved in the incident was wearing a visitor's pass signed out under your name. How did he come to have that pass?"

"Due to some circumstances not in my control, the two people who I gave passes to are currently living at my house. I decided to bring them with me here, and they just..." He was silent. "Is my job going to be affected by this?"

"Easy there. You're not fired."

I exhaled a breath I hadn't been expecting to hold.

"What I want you to do now is get that man out of here. I don't want to see him signed in under your name again. Next time he comes, he is buying his own ticket!"

"Yes sir! Right away, sir!" I nodded sharply, and walked quickly out of the room. Lovino followed me away from the building.

"What'd he say? What'd he say?" He asked, walking quickly to keep up with me.

"He gave me the rest of the day off to take Antonio home. But I'm not allowed to let you guys in for free anymore."

"Well, at least that's better than being fired, isn't it?" Lovino offered.

I slowed. "Yeah. Much better. Let's get him out of here."

* * *

><p>I collected Antonio and lead him forcefully to the car, diminishing under the gaze of pissed-off security guys and curious visitors. He got silently into the back seat, and Lovino got in the front. The ride home was silent. I gripped the wheel and stared straight ahead, not even glancing at Antonio's face in my rearview mirror.<p>

Eventually, I decided to break it. "I am _incredibly_ disappointed with you, Antonio. Why did you try to jump into the tank?"

"I...I wanted to swim with the turtles... They were so cute, I couldn't help it!" He whined.

"You wanted to swim with the turtles? Next time, try going to Hawaii! Don't go jumping into somebody else's home. Seriously." I told him.

"_Si…"_


End file.
